I am having a total barry of a week. (For those not familiar with the reference- to have a ‘barry’ is to have an absolute shocker, because ‘shocker’ rhymes with ‘Barry Crocker’, who was rather a shocker himself.)
This has been the last week of classes at work and all of my students have been rushing to get all of their assessment tasks in on time (i.e. COB yesterday. The exact time of COB is apparently open to interpretation…4pm, 4:30pm…9:30pm…midnight GMT…as long as it’s still Wednesday 24th right??)
I can’t actually remember what happened on Monday so I am assuming it was an ok day, no falling over chairs or through desks or the usual acts of brain-friedness that come with week-before-assessment-week teacher tiredness.
Tuesday I took on 2 extra relief classes, conveniently forgetting in my desperation for extra money that I had a professional development session straight after the last class until 7pm. I *think* it was on assessment (can’t remember, was incapable of absorbing any information at this stage)…I KNOW they provided free food. Only because I managed to drop a muffin topped with whipped cream and attempted to catch it, thereby getting whipped cream all over my pants and incurring the dreaded ‘pity smile’ of the visiting teachers due to my extreme lack of hand-eye co-ordination.
At 7pm, in a mental state best described as slightly above vegetative, I arrived at my faithful little (slightly dusty) car to discover that some little darling had decided it needed decorating, and therefore drawn giant phallic objects all over it in the dust with their finger.
I dragged my sorry ass into work Wednesday, grumbling about my newly decorated car much to the amusement of my workmates, to discover that not only had I forgotten my lunch but didn’t have any cash to buy any. (This is important to note for later on)
I spent my spare time during the day finishing off a needle-felted design on a t-shirt, which I was keen to wear to dinner that night, because I had told a friend about it and was keen to show it off. Took me ages but the My Little Pony design was actually pretty cool, if I do say so myself. I had to stay back at work later than usual to supervise the stragglers rushing to get their work in before Wednesday actually turned into Thursday, so had about 45 mins to get home, iron new outfit, put on newly-felted super awesome t-shirt and rush off to dinner.
Throw on change of clothes, discover that newly-felted super awesome t-shirt is a size too small. Have a CBF moment and leave the top on anyway.
I get into my car, turn on the ignition and notice that I have approximately just above zero litres of petrol in the tank. No problem, I live next to a service station. Rifle through handbag.
Discover that my wallet is sitting, where I pulled it out earlier that day to check for cash, on my desk at work.
Drive to Monash constantly praying that I get there without breaking down. Arrive in one piece. Thank every deity in existence.
Get offered a drink, drink it down to alleviate built up stress of the last two days…goes straight to my head due to not having had any lunch. Spill red wine all over my newly felted super awesome t-shirt, in front of a bunch of very smart and classy people, 60% of whom were male.
Drive back home with my metaphorical tail between my legs, praying that I get there without breaking down. Arrive in one piece. Thank every deity in existence. Realise that I don’t have enough petrol to get to work in the morning. Decide that breaking down on Adelaide Ave and have one third of the peak hour traffic gawking at me and my Penis Car is not a feasible option. Look up bike path route from Curtin to Narrabundah.
Thursday, I wake up late due to sleep deprivation. Have coffee, skip breakfast (no time). Pull bike out of shed. Discover flat tyre. Facepalm repeatedly.
So…
What does one do when one has no petrol, no wallet, and no bicycle?
If one has rocks in one’s head like me, one walks to work. 10km. I got to Mugga Way before it occurred to me that I probably should have called someone for a lift.
Good Lord…it’s only Thursday.
